Lord, I am tired.
Not the kind of tired that sleep fixes. The other kind. The kind that sits in my chest when I wake up and remember that the thing I have been praying about is still there.
I have been fighting this a long time now. Longer than I told anyone. And I keep showing up to pray about it, but if I am honest, some mornings I show up out of habit more than hope.
Father, I don’t want to pretend with You. You already know. So here it is. I am worn down. I want it to be over.
Meet me here anyway.
I am not asking You to make me strong today. I have tried that. I am asking You to be strong for me. To stand in the place where my legs are shaking. To hold the line I cannot hold.
Remind me that the fight is not mine. That You went ahead of me into today before I opened my eyes. That the outcome was never resting on how well I prayed or how much faith I could gather up by breakfast.
Quiet the voice that says nothing is changing. Quiet the one that says I should have handled this better by now. I don’t have to win an argument with my own head. I just have to stay near You.
And Lord, if today is another day of waiting, give me enough. Not more than enough. Just enough for today. Enough patience for the people around me. Enough steadiness to do the next small thing. Enough peace to lie down tonight without rehearsing all of it again.
You have carried me this far. I forget that constantly. Help me remember it out loud.
I am still here. I am still Yours. That is the whole prayer.
Amen.
Sitting with this one today? Read today’s verse, Exodus 14:14, and let it finish the thought.