Let me say something first, before we get to any of the prayers.
If you are reading this in the days after a loss, I am so sorry. There is no fixing this with a webpage. There is no perfect prayer that will skip you ahead. What I can offer you is what most of us actually need when we are grieving: words for the moments when we don’t have our own. That’s really all this page is. Words you can borrow.
Pray any of them out loud or silent. Cry through them. Stop in the middle and start over. None of that is wrong. Psalm 34:18 says God is close to the brokenhearted. That’s not poetry. He’s right there. He doesn’t need you to perform.
When you don’t have any words
Honestly, some days you won’t. You’ll sit down to pray and your mouth will just be empty. That’s okay. These short prayers are for that.
1. God… I’m here. That’s all I have right now. Please be here too.
2. Jesus. Please. I can’t.
3. Father, I miss them. I miss them. I miss them.
4. Lord, I don’t know how to pray today. Romans 8:26 says the Spirit prays for me when I can’t. Please, pray what I can’t pray.
5. God, the silence is so loud. Sit with me in it.
For the first few days after the loss
The first week is its own kind of fog. You’ll forget you ate. You’ll catch yourself reaching for the phone to text them. You’ll be in the shower and remember and slide down the wall. These prayers are for that week.
6. Father… I keep thinking I’m going to wake up. I keep waiting for someone to say it was a mistake. I know You see me. I know You’re not surprised by any of this. But Lord, I am. I really am.
I don’t know what to ask You for. I don’t want courage yet. I don’t want strength yet. I just want… them back. And I know I can’t have that. So I’m asking for whatever the next-smallest thing is. Help me get through tonight. Help me eat something. Help me let people in.
I love You. I’m mad at You a little. I think You can hold both. Amen.
7. Jesus, You wept at Lazarus’s tomb (John 11:35). The shortest verse in the whole Bible is just You crying. Thank You that You actually understand. Thank You that grief isn’t a weakness in front of You. Cry with me, would You? Amen.
8. Lord, the people around me are trying so hard. They’re saying the right things and the wrong things and I don’t even know which is which. Help me not snap at them. Help me forgive them when they say something stupid. Help me let one or two of them really see me. Amen.
9. Father, I keep forgetting they’re gone for a few seconds at a time and then remembering all over again. Every time it hits, hold me. Don’t let me fall apart in a place that isn’t safe. Time the waves so I can survive them. Amen.
10. God… if You are real, and I believe You are, I need to know that. Not as a doctrine. As a Presence. Show up in a way I can feel today. I’m not asking for a sign. I’m asking for You. Amen.
For the second month, when everyone has gone home
This is the part nobody warns you about. The casseroles stop coming. The phone goes quiet. Everyone else’s life moves on. Yours doesn’t.
11. Father, the world has moved on and I haven’t. People are asking me how I’m doing like it’s a question with a normal answer. They mean well. They do. But Lord, I am so far from okay, and I don’t know how to say that without making them uncomfortable.
So I’m telling You. I’m exhausted. I’m angry sometimes for reasons that don’t make sense. I’m guilty about the things I should have said. I’m guilty about the times I’m fine for a whole afternoon and then I feel like I betrayed them by being fine.
You see all of this. Please carry what I can’t. Please send me one good friend who won’t flinch when I tell the truth. Amen.
12. Lord, the empty chair at the table still wrecks me. The empty side of the bed. The empty space in the group text. Be in every empty space they left. Don’t let the gaps swallow me. Amen.
13. Jesus, I forgot they were gone for almost a whole hour today. And then I remembered. And then I felt guilty for forgetting. Tell me it’s okay to keep living. Tell me forgetting for an hour isn’t betrayal. Amen.
14. Holy Spirit, my faith feels small right now. I’m not walking away from God. I’m just so tired. Carry my faith for me while I rest. Hold my place. I’ll be back. Amen.
When the grief is complicated
Sometimes the person we lost was difficult. Sometimes the relationship was a mess. Sometimes you’re grieving who they could have been more than who they were. That kind of grief doesn’t fit on a Hallmark card. These prayers are for it.
15. Father, I don’t know how to grieve them. Our relationship was hard. People keep saying nice things at the funeral that don’t match the person I knew. I feel like a liar nodding along.
God, You see what they were and what they did. You also see what they came from. Help me find the truth of who they were in You. Help me grieve honestly without bitterness. Where there is unforgiveness I haven’t let go of, help me let go, not because they earned it but because I need to be free. Amen.
16. Lord, I’m grieving someone I didn’t get to fix things with. The conversation I was waiting to have, I waited too long. I keep replaying what I should have said. I keep writing imaginary letters in my head.
Take what I can’t fix. You are bigger than my last conversation with them. Carry the unfinished business. If it can be healed across the silence, heal it. If not, give me the grace to lay it down. Amen.
17. Father, the way they died was traumatic. I can’t unsee what I saw. I can’t unhear what I heard. Sometimes I think I’m okay and then a smell or a sound brings it back like it just happened.
Heal what only You can heal. Help me find a counselor I trust. Help me speak about it when speaking helps and stay quiet when quiet helps. Please, don’t let the way they died be the last memory I have of them. Restore the earlier ones. Amen.
When you’re angry at God
Honestly, you might be. Most people are at some point. The Bible doesn’t flinch from this, read Psalm 13 or the entire book of Lamentations. Anger is not the opposite of faith. Walking away is.
18. God… I’m mad. I’m so mad. You could have stopped this. You didn’t. I’m here in front of You with that.
I don’t want a theology lesson about it. I want You to know it. I want You to take it. I would rather be in this room with You and angry than in another room without You and pretending.
Don’t leave. I’m not leaving either. Amen.
19. Lord, the people quoting Romans 8:28 at me right now mean well but they are not helping. “God works all things for good” does not feel like good news today. It feels like a math equation that doesn’t solve.
Hold the verse for me until I can hold it again. Make the truth of it true in my life later, in a way I cannot see yet. For now, I just need You to sit here with the loss and not explain it away. Amen.
For the long stretch, month six, year two, year five
Here’s the thing nobody tells you: grief doesn’t end. It just changes shape. The second year is sometimes harder than the first. The third anniversary still aches. These prayers are for the long, long road.
20. Father, it has been a long time and I am still carrying this. Some days are normal. Some days I forget. Some days a song comes on and I am right back at the beginning.
Help me stop measuring my grief against other people’s timelines. There is no schedule for this. Let me grieve at the pace You and I are walking, not the pace anyone else expects. Amen.
21. Lord, the anniversaries keep coming. The birthday. The death date. The one we always celebrated together. Each one is a small earthquake.
Steady me on the hard dates. Bring a memory that makes me smile. Bring a friend who remembers them too. Don’t let me sit in the dark by myself. Amen.
22. Father, I want to honor them by living well. By being a kinder person because of them. By loving the people I have left more fiercely. Show me how to carry them forward instead of just carrying the loss. Amen.
What to do with a prayer when you finish it
Look, I know we are at the end of a list of prayers. But let me say one more honest thing. After you pray any of these, you do not have to feel better. You just have to have prayed it. The work the prayer does isn’t always something you feel. It’s often something that happens slowly underneath.
So pray it. Then go drink some water. Eat something. Text a friend. Sleep if you can. The grief is not a problem to be solved tonight. It is a road to be walked, with God beside you.
Frequently asked questions about prayer in grief
What do you say in a prayer for grief?
You say the truth. “God, I’m broken. God, I’m angry. God, I miss them.” There is no script. Look at Psalm 88, it is in the Bible and it ends in darkness, no neat resolution. God put that one in the book on purpose. He can handle yours too.
Is it okay to be angry at God when grieving?
Yes. Most people are at some point. Anger is not unbelief; anger is a relationship still alive. Job, Lamentations and dozens of the Psalms are angry. God reads those too.
How long does grief last?
Longer than anyone tells you. The shape of it changes, the sharp edge becomes a dull ache, but it does not have a finish line. The goal is not to stop grieving. The goal is to learn to carry it with God, not alone.
Should I talk to a grief counselor in addition to praying?
Please yes. Prayer and professional grief support are partners, not competitors. If your grief is interfering with sleep, work, eating, or hope itself, talk to a counselor. God works through them. Many churches have grief support groups (GriefShare is the most common one in the U.S.) and they help.
What Bible verse is best for grief?
Try Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Carry it in your pocket. Other good ones for grief: Psalm 23, 2 Corinthians 1:3, 4, Revelation 21:4, and Matthew 5:4.
One last thing
The person you lost mattered. Your grief is not an inconvenience or an embarrassment. God has not lost interest. He is patient with the long slow work of putting a heart back together.
If this page helped at all, you might also want to read our prayers for healing for the days when grief is physical too, our prayers for anxiety for the grief-anxiety overlap, and our full healing prayers category.
Grace and peace to you. I’m sorry. I really am. When the grief belongs to a friend and not to you, send one of these prayer messages for a grieving friend instead of waiting for the right words to arrive.